


I remember, I'm Fading

by KrumPuffer



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Character Death, Memories, Other, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 06:51:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18405386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrumPuffer/pseuds/KrumPuffer
Summary: I was listening to Blink-182 and I had mad Noah vibes, enjoy this sweet and sad little piece.  I guess it’s just a little respect being paid to our sweet ghost boy.





	I remember, I'm Fading

I remember, By Noah Czerny

I remember a lot of details from my life. 

Like the day I got my first skateboard, GIRL, with standard trucks and wheels and barring’s, before I knew to customize it. 

I remember my first time at a Chuck-E-Cheese. My mom bitching under her breath about how dirty the carpet was and not wanting us to take our socks off like the other kids at the birthday party. 

I remember my first horror movie. IT. My friend Josh’s mom rented it for us when we were ten. We didn’t know it was two parts and didn’t get the second DVD. That was ok though, one disk of Pennywise the clown was enough to scar me for the next few years of my life, last few years of my life.

I remember when my Granny Pat passed away and I didn’t want to see her in a coffin because I didn’t want to remember her all zobie-fied and cold. She was never cold. 

I remember the first time I heard Blink-182 and fingered a girl, on the same day. The song was Damn it. On a school bus, Samantha, or as we called her Sam played it for me and then I stuck my hand under her jean skirt and fingered her, right there on the bus on our way home from a field trip with her school to some lava pit. 

I remember the day I caught my sister cutting herself in the bathroom and my logic was to shut the door and let her finish. Later when she came out of the bathroom,  
I took her to get gelato and told her if she ever did it again, I would drive my mustang off of a cliff to show her what pain really felt like. That was also the first time I felt like a man, more than when I had my hands up a girl’s skirt. It was also the last time she cut herself, while I was alive. 

I remember the day I met Barri. He hated when I called him that. Barrington Whelk. My best friend. First day at Aglionby. Both of us nervous. Both of us from money, as were the other ninety-nine percent at the school. He brought a lunch every day. I never really ate. He hated to skate. I lived at the skate park. He was serious. I was immature and carefree. We were complete opposites.

I remember the day I met my murderer. Barri. He hated when I called him that. Barrington Whelk. My murderer. 

I remember the day I died. At the hands of my friend. At the hands of my murderer. Watching my beloved skateboard crash into my face. I remember thinking, who is going to keep my sister from cutting? Who is going to keep my mom from sweating the small stuff? Why didn’t I have sex when I had a chance? Why was my best friend killing me? Who would get my mustang? Oh man, my mom was going to find my porn. Oh man, my dad was never going to see the Czerny name carry on, it would die with me. This sucked. 

I remember the day I talked to Gansey. And then Ronan. Later, Adam. And Blue, I kissed Blue. Oh, Blue. 

I remember telling them all I was dead. Its still funny to me that they didn’t believe me. Its like the joke, how does it go…. A hitchhiker gets into a car and the driver says, “How do you know I’m not a serial?” and the hitchhiker replies, “Because the chances of two serial killers being in the same car are slim.” Get it? Because I told them I was dead. 

I’m going over these memories because I’m fading. You see I don’t think I should have been able to stick around as long as I did. But I’m fading now. And I’m scared. And I’m sad. I don’t want to be dead. I don’t want to fade away. But when I do, and I will, I want to take these memories with me where ever else I’m going. 

So, I had to say them one last time. 

I remember my first memory, being so little. My dad put on a song. Beautiful Boy, by John Lennon. I remember he had already played other songs that day, I don’t remember which ones, because he had played them for my sister and my mom, and he slow danced with them. But I remember Beautiful Boy, because he played that one for me. And I remember being a young, young boy, and knowing men don’t usually show dance with each other, but my dad did just that. And he sang the words to the song to me. And he told me to always slow dance with the ones I loved. I wish I got to slow dance more. But I’m fading away now. And John Lennon is whaling in my ears. And I’m fading now. And I remember now, how short it all was. Make it count. Memories and life and friends and music and skateboards and slow dances with your dad. Make it count. And I’m fading….


End file.
